Dr. Zamboni's Fascinating life

Good bye pets for now

2011-12-03T15:54:00.001-05:00

Well well well, I know it's been a long time i have been trapped in an alternate universe. As of now there will not been any new posts. i have been focusing on a new blog project http://magellansinternet.blogspot.com/

Stealing my thunder

2011-05-02T00:31:00.002-04:00

Who killed Osama Bin Laden?

2011-02-19T14:01:00.000-05:00

Well, Well, Well, I have been doing a little organ growth myself but i haven't tried the human ear on the back of the mouse yet, now that is mad science!

Santa Claus is real

2010-12-22T16:22:00.000-05:00

Well, Well, Well, it looks as though Christmas will not be canceled this year. If you remember last year i kidnapped Chris Kringle in a futile attempt to extract his most treasured of all his saintly secrets, How he manages to visit every house in the world in one night. This is the only scientific marvel i have yet to unearth from Santa's jolly brain. I have obviously discovered how he can make a sleigh and reindeer fly, and i have even perceived how to fit the entire world's gifts into one sac, (this is simply a stunt of interdenominational control on two similar but spacialy different locations which can appear to be in a single location, ie: the sac). So anyway i decided to tern my attention on more important matters such as creating super human genetic hybrids. Have a very hairy Christmas and a slimy New Year!

Not exactly what happened...

2010-12-08T01:16:00.000-05:00

Well, well, well, this documentary is not entirely accurate but it is close. I have a living corps i created in my lab and he is perfectly pleasant.

Halloween?

2010-10-29T15:25:00.000-04:00

Well, Well, Well, I have been working very hard on my latest evil plan. Unfortunately at this point i cannot reveal too much to you. I can say this however the extra terrestrials are on their way! In other news i hear it is near that time you in the U.S. call Halloween. If what i understand of it is true it is basically a like every day at my castle. One question, does the candy have something to do with transforming the children into monsters, ghosts, vampires, and pop icons? I am still a little confused about this holiday. If i was an arrogant mad scientist i would assume this holiday is a celebration of me and my friends. Any way Igor put together a little music video for you, enjoy.

My Plan

2010-07-28T16:02:00.001-04:00

Well well well, Business has been slow with the economy the way it is. Super villains just aren't buying henchmen and dooms day devices like they used too. Perhaps if i utilize this Internet thing i could sell some of my zombies and goons on the EBay place. Enough of this mindless banter. I will now present to you my newest evil plan to enslave the entire human race.

I am sill in the testing phases of the mind control nanobots, and i have yet too contact a hostile alien species willing to do this for me. they all want the earth for themselves. I may have to wait for them to invade then i can take advantage of the situation.

p.s Followers, I am testing the nanobots in some of this years flu vaccine

My Paradox

2010-06-14T10:21:00.000-04:00

Well, Well, Well, If you remember a few months ago i blogged about my time machine. I decided to dust it off and try it out again. This motivation came shortly after i noticed my future self peering at me between my electric chair and my stack of frozen cadavers. I waved at my self and i waved back. I said i went to the future and i came back to the wrong time so i said i would try again and i went back into the machine and disappeared. I (in the present) remembered i wanted to go into the future to find out how my latest genetic engineering experiment turns out. So i jumped into the time machine and i reached the future and i discovered i would have success in creating a flying monkey (like in the Wizard of Oz). i went back but for some reason i came out about five minuets in the past and i emerged between my electric chair and my stack of cadavers. I saw myself; i waved and i waved back.

Attack of the Atomic Brains

2010-05-21T12:08:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well, i have been working with my reactor and i have discovered a way to preform a brain transplant using the power of fission. I lowered a cadaver into my specially designed reactor and i put a dog into another chamber. By completely immersing the dog brain in radiation. I was able to send it through the air, in a molecular state, into the cadavers skull. Now i have a dog with a man's body or i prefer to think of it as a man with the loyalty of a dog. Unfortunately the dog was not house broken. I plan on switching the brains of a few of my assistants. Imagine the chaos if the brains of a few diplomats or presidents are switched or replaced with animal brains... Muhahahahaahaaaa

Unlimited Power!

2010-04-13T15:37:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well, i thought i should take some time to share the events of my most recent experiments. My most exciting break through is a sustained fusion reaction from which i can create an unlimited source of power. This is particularly helpful when bringing a Frankenstein monster to life. I will no longer have to make Igor hoist it up through the roof on a stormy night and hope for a lighting strike. The Fusion reactor is also helpful considering the electric company refused to run power lines through the Black Forest and up to a castle. this may be because it is always night or they may have heard the stories of the post man's truck being chased by werewolves. Before i always had to harvest power from lighting or i took car batteries from the abandoned cars along the side of the road through the Black Forrest. For some reason most travelers have their cars break down in the Black Forrest when a full moon is out or during a thunder storm. If you are ever driving through the Black Forrest, when your car breaks down just walk up to my castle and you can stay there for the night, in return you get to help me out with some of my experiments; at the fork in the road go to the left castle it says "Dr. Zamboni Mad Scientist" on the mail box. To the right is Dracula's Castle.

Back in the day

2010-02-27T15:18:00.002-05:00

Well, Well, Well, the other day I was cleaning out a corner of my basement to make room for a new shipment of cadavers and I found some old film. This is one of my close colleagues performing one of the first DNA related experiments. At that time I was only his apprentice so I am working the camera in this. Enjoy this historical scientific footage.

Since then I have repeated the technique in combining animals and humans and I have created several spider-men and a beetle-man. It is important to note that this experiment was performed before the Spiderman Franchise and all spider-human mutants are copywrited under Dr. Zamboni the Mad Scientist LLC. The title is Mad Science gone wrong, because he killed the “spider-man” instead of letting it terrorize the village. He later expressed to me this was one of his greatest regrets.

My Universe

2010-01-30T14:17:00.007-05:00

Well, well, well, this is the last day to vote on which crazy conspiracy person you think i am. Well looks like i can call this one most of you voted that i am indeed a real Mad Scientist. I hope this clears up some confusion and doubt some of you skeptics may have had. In other news i released Santa yesterday and i have written a full report on my findings in Popular Evil Science Weekly, and Unethical breakthroughs Today.
I have recently completed my own particle accelerator even larger and more powerful than the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, Switzerland. The first results seam promising, for 1/20,000 of a second i have ripped a hole in space-time and i was able to photograph an image of a parallel universe! Here is a picture for proof, my collider is on the top left.

Kidnapped!

2009-12-13T13:32:00.003-05:00

Well, Well, Well, I did it, I kidnapped Santa Clause! Just as I told you I would back in July. I did this for for two reasons: one, I Dr. Zamboni is a mad evil scientist, and I want to find out how he does what he does. That jolly old elf has been sliding down chimneys, entering people's homes, and traveling the entire globe in one night. He is obviously using some sort of advanced scientific device and I will find out what it is and use it to control the worlds population! Well don't you worry your stockings will get filled this year because I have decided not to cancel Christmas, if he refuses to reveal his secrets by the 25th I will Simply accompany him and observe his sneaky little secrets. Here is proof, a video of my henchman kidnapping Santa at his North Pole residence.

Free Video Hosting

Band

2009-12-03T23:28:00.003-05:00

Well, i saw this on the Internet video place and i thought i should set the record straight. I did this about ten years ago except my robots played Slavic Polka and shot lasers out of their eyes. Sorry i didn't record them, they broke up before i got the chance.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-11T17:42:00.005-05:00

Well, Well, Well, Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I know your surprised Mad Scientists celebrate Thanksgiving, especially when the country they live in doesn't even celebrate it. Well I know I am thankful for my evil intelligence, and I am thankful that I can create a henchman or lab tech whenever I want. I however, will have the biggest turkey for Thanksgiving because I have genetically modified it, oh just kidding all turkeys now are modified, what i really did to make it 189 lbs was I built a machine that can enlarge the molecules using microwaves. Well it is not exactly perfected yet, i went through quite a number of turkeys before I stopped burning them, the frequency has to be just right. The turkey grew so fast Igor didn't have time to get his head out of the machine after placing the turkey in there and in the process his face was implanted in to the growing turkey. I figured we can just eat around him. In the future i hope to post some of my technical drawings and manuscripts so you can try this stuff at home!

Scientist

2009-10-16T20:49:00.002-04:00

Well, well, well, i have been thinking about the modern scientists and all of their ventures to do stuff like cure cancer and make new phones that are smarter than you, and i realized the difference between them and me is that i like to have fun and they want to help people and get credit for the next big thing that people "need". here is an example of one guy who has the potential to be a really great Mad Scientist.

I will Multiply

2009-09-06T18:46:00.002-04:00

Well, Well, Well, This week I have been experimenting with genetic engineering and i have increased my own IQ by 38%. My clone babies will be the first super humans genetically altered. I guess they won't exactly be clones of me by other than increased intellect they will be the same mad scientist i am. There are a total of two of them now, one five and the other just stared developing a spine. I plan on producing one every five years so i will become my own lab staff and the crazy Dr. Zamboni will live on for ever! Muhaahaahahaaa!!
On a slightly less devious note I recently returned from the past in which i made Texas part of the United States. The alternate reality is complicated but lets just say Texas was ignoring UN sanctions.

Castle cooling

2009-08-24T13:48:00.002-04:00

Well well well, i have been busy in the lab and on my perch creating and ploting. Sadly all evil, mad, scientists are neglected and we can get lonely. Don't worry or pity me because we like it this way, besides if we need a friend we can always create one! I know it sounds like i am contradicting myself but i am crazy and some times i carry out long arguments inside my head. Up here in Transylvania it does get rather hot in the summer time and everyone knows it is just about impossible to fit window units in the castle windows or install central air. The only way i can cool down is to spend time in my frozen cadaver cellar, so the next time you are hot or in your frozen cadaver cellar think of me.

X-mas is 5monts and 5days away

2009-07-13T10:30:00.009-04:00

Well, Well, Well, if you remember back to my Easter post i told you about a giant destructo bunny i was planing to build, and then i later told you it would not work. Well i think i will kidnap Santa Clause this year! Don't worry Christmas will not be canceled i just want to do some experiments on him to find out how he does what he does. Perhaps little mined control won't hert either. Think about it, that man can go anywhere in the world in one night and sneak into every one's house without setting off the alarm! Now imagine that kind of power in the hands of an evil mad scientist like me Ha Ha Hahhh! I cant reveal any part of my plan because there are always those people out there who would try to be a hero. Christmas this year would not be any different than in the past, think of it under new management

Tell you friends (or feids) about this blog

2009-07-06T14:17:00.003-04:00

Well Well Well, It has been a busy few days in the lab. However i still have not escaped the over excitement of Micheal Jackson's death. I mean this is too much, great people die every day and they don't get that much attention. all i have to do is mention i have tickets to his service and people would be attacking me. Every one is crying over him and wishing he was still alive but no one asks the cray blogger mad scientist to bring him back to life, do they! (it's really simple too). Well you don't want to know any more about him or any other over glorified celeb that's why you reading this blog. Unfortunately hits to this blog have been down lately, so I'd like someone to write to, if you know any one who may not hate this blog tell them to visit it. Tell you friends (or feids) about this blog.

I have been giving the universe some thought lately and i have come to one conclusion, theorist like Stephen Hawking and Albert Einstein are wrong when it come to the theories about origins of the universe! I say this not because of their theories, but because they have no solid explanations. they are wrong because they have no answer that can be proven.

My Cousin

2009-06-17T14:49:00.003-04:00

Well, since my last post i have mostly been developing new weapons systems like a rail gun and a voice activated missile launcher. you may be wondering were i get my money for these projects and the answer is in two parts. First of all i was born to a rich Lord in the dark Transylvanian forest, second i sell some of my inventions to extraterrestrials and to sinister organizations. If you wish to make a purchase leave a comment below. My wizard cousin unexpectedly dropped in my castle, as wizards always do. Every time he visits we always get into the age old argument about which is more powerful, magic or science. this always ends in very destructive demonstrations on the peasant village and we admit we are both evil and powerful.

Star Trek

2009-06-02T14:06:00.004-04:00

Well, If you are reading this and you still haven't voted about me you only have 3 more days. I have been a very busy mad scientist lately, i think i got all the bugs out of my dooms day device so the last day should go off without a problem. Igor, my hunch-back assistant has been beginning some of his own experiments with fusion lately. I encourage my pets to excel in the scientific community, by doing their own experiments so they feel they have a purpose and i usually get the credit for it anyway. Even in the far reaches of the dark woods of Transylvania i have heard of the new Star Trek movie, now i haven't seen it yet but i do know one thing and that is the technology is very primitive compared to what i have been able to accomplish in by lab. Today we would be exploring the far reaches of the Galaxy if i wasn't crazy and shared my knowledge with the world. I do agree with on thing in Star Trek, for those who read this blog, "Live long and prosper." (until i activate my dooms day device!) ha ha ah.

Paper Work!

2009-05-08T18:46:00.002-04:00

Well, I know i haven't posted in a long time but the lab work and the paper work you need to fill out just destroy the world is a bother. Sadly i can't seem to get a countdown that works so if you know of one leave a comment, ironic i can create a black hole generator but i can't create a simple countdown for its activation. Maybe i will let you know before i destroy the world, i'll give you plenty of notice, one or two hours should be plenty of time to prepare for death. The aliens finally went back to were they came from, though they told me they will be back for more onions.

The end is near!

2009-04-28T17:47:00.002-04:00

Well, i haven't posted in a few days but you readers know what it is like being a scientist, well maybe you don't, but i am a mad scientist so that takes up even more time because i have to be evil, crazy and scientific! Well i have been working on a device so ingenious, so sinister so, evil and insane that only the strongest stoic Volkin will only scream at the thought of it.
I'm talking about a dooms day device! Yes you read it right yesterday i completed my black hole projector that will transform the earth and surrounding planets into a giant black hole! At this point you probably don't believe me or you are running to Church. Don't be too alarmed it will take some time before the machine gathers enough mass and energy to acutely detonate, i have placed a count down clock on the sidebar for your convenunce. I guess i will invent some sort of device to save myself, some of my creations and of course you followers.

i

2009-04-22T16:16:00.002-04:00

Well, no one has commented on the question i had about capitalizing my "I"s so i have decided a mad scientist is not a writer nor is he an English nut, i decided to not capitalize any "i"s. The aliens are still living in my basement and i don't think they are planing to leave any time soon. The first reason for this is what i told you about a few posts ago, they love Kool Aid and onions, their new found love of earth is a computer game they bought called Call of Duty 4. I often visit them to discus the mysteries of the universe by they are too busy playing COD 4 or watching YouTube videos, this all makes me realize these are the things our planet should be proud of, not going to the moon or curing diseases, but finding new ways to spend money to have fun or creating a way to watch some one do some thing stupid from the other side of the world. I am a mad scientist and i don't mean to put down science but no one really cares about science unless it leads to an entertaining invention.

I or i?

2009-04-15T18:11:00.003-04:00

Well, i see that I have coerced another follower. in this posting I am capitalizing every other i, because i am torn between laziness and proper gramer, do you readers think I should capitalize every i or not? the Destructo Bunny is not finished yet because my carnivorous plant is growing too fast for me to keep up feeding it (I don't think i should tell you what, I mean who i am feeding it). I guess i will have to throw it into the enviromet so it can reproduce uncontrolled in the wild. What is up with all of these scientsit, and he general public now turning "green"? The Destructo Bunny may not be the answer to global domination after all, because the entire world doesn't celebrate Easter and they won't understand why it's pink and holding colorful grenades in a basket. I then thought i will have to make a lot of killer robots each appealing to a specific culture so they can relate and be terrified, but i can't think of a robot for the Star Wars fans, I mean they would be awed at the sight of it and they will take it's picture and then fight it with a plastic light saber. Global domiation will have to wait.

Easter

2009-04-13T11:29:00.003-04:00

Well yestrday was what you people call Easter. I am a mad scientist so i spent my day programing Destructo Bunny Destroyer of Worlds. I does not quite work yet it is only destroying eggs and shooting at the children outside looking for Easter Eggs. Eventually i hope it will terrorize the entire free world and civilization will be at my evil knees begging for the mercy of a quick death. Don't worry if you are a follower of this blog you will be allowed to govern the slaves of my new empire, ha ha hahah! Igor will of course be my right hand slave. Well I shouldn't plan too far ahead most of my evil plans have failed, but one day you will all see!! I know not everyone celebrates Easter so I will build a destrucato pineapple, i think that is non bias enough.

Quincy

2009-04-10T13:00:00.003-04:00

Well, Icould not post what I did the last few days because my Frankenstein monster ataked destroying the modem of my computer and he ate the speakers. I named him Quincy. It and my computer are working now because Iam a mad scientist after all. My giant man eating plant is growing slowly but surely, Iam feeding it chickens now. the aliens are starting to grow restless and Iam afraid they will leave soon, so if you have any questions for them about the infinite knowledge of the universe you should ask it in the comments below. There are some school children here that wondered in to the dark woods near my castle and now the are playing with some of my experimates and mutain mosters, I should have counted them when they came in so I would know if my monsters' calorie intake.

Plant

2009-04-06T19:51:00.003-04:00

Well, if you look to the right you should notice a zombie, oh i mean Google search, you can now search the web from the comfort of my creepy science blog. I don't mean to commercialize my blog; i mean i don't even watch TV, i live in a castle Frankenstein and Dracula once called home. The cable guy won't come for some reason. I still can't believe that no one is interested in the infinite knowledge of the universe, and if you have no idea what I'm talking about than you haven't read my previous blogs or you forgot about it and you should try some of my memory potion. you can also vote about me on the side bar, not that i care what you think about me but I'm wondering who voted for "i love him". Well now on to the science of the day, i have made significant progress on a man eating carnivorous plant. It is still small and only eats small rodents but i believe with some widely advertised brand of plant growth food it will grow. This remides me of a movie and show about a similar subject, I don't think i could teach it to sing. Igor is still elecricuting the half living corpes, nobody wants to die but once you die you don't want to come back.

Kool Aid and Onions

2009-04-04T19:45:00.003-04:00

Well, i know i missed a day yesterday but Igor and i were digging in cemeteries and graveyards (yes there is a difference) all day. It was a productive day, most of the cadavers we liberated in the name of science proved to be use able. Ahh i can not think with that noise. Oh i guess you can't hear it from were you live, unless you live in Transylvania, well it is the sound of a half living corps being slowly electrified by jumper cables connected to an 85' Caprice Classic. Yeah we modern mad scientists don't do the lightning storm thing. It should be alive and terrorizing the local village by Monday. The aliens i told you about are doing well they like Kool Aid and Onions!? I can't believe no one has asked me any questions to ask the aliens, i mean they have unlocked the secrets of the universe. Tell every one you know to visit this blog!

I'm back!

2009-04-02T17:37:00.003-04:00

Well i see that my assistant Igor thought i died yesterday and left a post. what actually happened was this: i have been trying to build a time machine for quite some time and i realized the secret lies in a combination of a household microwave and fusion based wormhole. i don't want to tell you too much because you may sell my secret, i never tell any one my discoveries unless i would be destroying a small village or the earth with it. I spent the last few hours yesterday living 200 years in the future. I was there about two weeks, a nice vacation without losing any time! the future is over rated, I'll just leave it at that. I don't plan on visiting the past unless i build a portable machine and take it with me. I have actually been to the past in the future because i left my self a note saying i had something to do with the Manhattan project and some ship called the Titanic. If you have any questions about 2209 or the alien just leave a comment.

April

2009-04-01T19:07:00.000-04:00

Dr. Zamboni was tragickly killed in a freak microwave accident. There is no post today.

aliens!

2009-03-31T19:53:00.003-04:00

Well i have successfully contacted extra terrestrial life. I know what you are thinking why doesn't the media and the government know about it. well i did not tell them, that's why, i did not tell them because they told me the last time they contacted earthlings the government shot at them and hid them in a top secret base. Well now we plot revenge together and the U.S. Air Force will be put in a jar in an alien laboratory, ha ha ha haaa! I'm sure you have a picture in your mined what you think the aliens look like but your wrong, it looks nothing like a traditional alien. The movies, posters and even the YouTube videos that show you what "aliens" look like, are all government propaganda designed to disguise the true form of extra terrestrial life. They have unlocked the secrets of the universe and given me weapons so terribly inhumane and destructive nations will bow at my feet at the very mention of it. Here are some snap shots of the fearsome geniuses, don’t look if you are the government.

TT

2009-03-30T17:33:00.000-04:00

Well i see i have coerced a follower. I'm not shore what TT means but i guess my assistant Igor has a strange name too. i know i have threatened to destroy the earth unless some one follows my blog, but being evil is too much fun. The dooms day device is in full production and it should be available at a store near you by Christmas.
Today was an uneventful day in the lab. It is Monday so i didn’t fell much like unleashing terrible mutant beast on peasant villages. Oh i had to stop typing there for a minute, my cat Tiny was trying to eat the dragon again, It's under control now. Last night an angry mob showed up at my door and i thought i was in real trouble. I turns out Igor hobbled out of Foggy Lake Dinner with out leaving a tip. He never was too good at math after the first accident..... or was it the sixth, i am not shore. Well that is about all the news for this blog, don't forget to vote and become a follower like TT.

Well well well

2009-03-28T19:19:00.003-04:00

Well, well, well, i see no one has made successful contact with me on this blog, i grow impatient and you probably do not know what mad scientists do when they grow impatient, they begin work on a dooms day device, haa haa haah! well i told you last post that i had a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde experiment in progress, i works pretty much like it did in the book except i only turn into Dr. Jekyll when i drink the stuff and it only lasts about 20 minutes. i put some in my neighbors well and it wasn't long before he was terrorizing small children and not leaving tips! i gave some to my chickens and they started Hillary Clinton and Obama impersonations. I suppose you all are wondering if i have the classic Frankenstein project in my lab, well the truth is that i have made several attempts but one cadaver is ever good enough so i end up sewing 4 or 7 parts together and it does not work out well or even look good so i take it apart and try again. the storeys make it seem like putting life into the thing is the hard part but it isn't, now a days you just plug en in and download a basic life program and it's alive. The hard part is getting the body parts to fit together and getting that Frankenstein's monster personality just right. when an is some one reads this leave a comment and let me know what you think. and don't forget to check out my other blog: Common Cold Remedies.

again

2009-03-27T16:54:00.000-04:00

well here is day two, i see no one left a comment and i guess no one even read the last post. I don't like to make threats but unless people start reading my blog, being a mad scientist, i will obliterate th universe in 458 months 24764 hours and 12 seconds!! well on a hppieer note to day i geneticly altered a mouses DNA and it should begin to develope goldfish scales. this breakthrough made my week but unfortunetly i do not belive it will have any efect on the course of the universe or perpetual motion. My pet ox ran in to the dark woods and i havent seen him yet. i hope crazy willy is not out of his cage.... he already ate three of my ells in my moat the last time he got out. that is all the new today tomarrow i may tell you about by Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde experimate.

First Day

2009-03-26T18:54:00.002-04:00

Well, here i am i am Dr. Zamboni and i am beginning a blog about my life. Not so shore why i am but i hope a lot of people who read things like this does and becomes my followers. If you don't like science you may want to stop reading Right NOW or you can continue to read about my adventures. I am a mad scientist so i guess i do have adventures, like the time i invented that invisible crocodile. if you don't like me rambling like this leave a comment and if you can convince me to write about formulas and algorithms i will. BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE don't go away just yet read or click on something else on the page like my news reel, or become a fallower, i am lonely in this medieval castle in Transylvania. the last friend of mine was a ware wolf but he ran away the last time the full moon was out. I hope you enjoyed todays post so come back tomarrow to laugh, cry or scream with me, maybe i will even have a lab story for you.

2009-03-23T20:12:00.001-04:00

this exciting blog is coming soon.

please come back later...