Santa Claus is real

Well, Well, Well, it looks as though Christmas will not be canceled this year. If you remember last year i kidnapped Chris Kringle in a futile attempt to extract his most treasured of all his saintly secrets, How he manages to visit every house in the world in one night. This is the only scientific marvel i have yet to unearth from Santa's jolly brain. I have obviously discovered how he can make a sleigh and reindeer fly, and i have even perceived how to fit the entire world's gifts into one sac, (this is simply a stunt of interdenominational control on two similar but spacialy different locations which can appear to be in a single location, ie: the sac). So anyway i decided to tern my attention on more important matters such as creating super human genetic hybrids. Have a very hairy Christmas and a slimy New Year!